In a world where love seems lost, how can we bring it back?
This topic has been on my heart for a while. As a lover of people and a lover of positivity I felt called to write about this. I often ponder on how blessed I have been to be loved so deeply and so greatly by the people in my life. I wanted to share what they have done, or what I have learned that has allowed me to receive and give so much great, life changing love.
This world is hurting, this world is isolated, and it is on each and every one of us to truly “Make the World Great’er’ Again.” No policies, no laws, no rules will ever take away our ability to love.
It’s hard to love, it’s hard to be loved. Thankfully we have the autonomy to bring love back harder and stronger than ever. Below are five ways that I have identified to love better:
1. Love with no expectations
Wholeness comes from within.
See, the reality is, no one can hurt us. We blame heartbreak and pain on others.
I do it to people that I love.
People I love do it to me.
Certainly we all do it to each other.
It’s not fair.
It’s not fair because it’s not people that hurt and break us. It is our unrealistic expectations that allow us to become hurt. Loving someone vaults us in to creating a higher standard for that person, and more times than not, we walk away broken.
We become blinded by love and expect so much from our loved ones. Over time we begin to expect them to heal our hearts, to read our minds, to make us feel good. Think about how many times someone felt as if you upset them, and let them down. In your head you were innocent, in their heart you were guilty of offense. The reality is, they feel as if you let them down, when it was never your duty to hold them up in the first place.
Wholeness comes from within.
By no means does this communicate tolerating disrespect. What it does mean, however, is to love freely, without expectations.
Allow yourself the freedom to love without expecting anything in return. Begin approaching relationships thinking only about what you can give and never about what you can get, and I promise you, folks will receive your love better.
2. Be generous with compliments
The tongue is the most powerful muscle in the body.
A big piece into signaling a whole individual is their ability to spread love and positivity. One who is confident in themselves, loves life, and loves people are quick and eager to build others up.
They speak the greatness of others into existence and have no fear bringing out the best in people.
Those that are insecure believe that the success and positives of others will take away their own successes. If someone works harder than them, they’re a try-hard. If someone gets promoted before them, they were the “favorite and got lucky.” If someone wins, they believe that someone else had to have lost.
In order to love better, we must be generous with compliments. The tongue is the most powerful muscle in the body. It has the ability to change the world and all depends on how you use it. You can use it to build others up, you can use it to tear others down. You can use it to create, you can use it to diminish
A close friend of mine once said, “no one will ever do or say anything to you that isn’t a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves in a moment.
“A loving person would help you heal your weakness with support, encouragement and unconditional love.“
Do not be afraid to build others up. A great challenge is to begin speaking up to friends and strangers and complimenting them whenever you see or hear their positives displayed. Be generous with compliments.
3. Give with no limits
Giving is the foundation of growing.
We keep tabs on what we do for others, but often times forget to keep tabs on what others do for us. Typically we only remember what they haven’t done.
We see giving as a bank account with debits and credits, and as we are paid in, we can pay out. But there is only a certain amount we can give, we have to budget our giving. What if instead we viewed giving on a different spectrum?
And we didn’t view it at all. We just gave. How would that make your life different?
Giving does not just include physical or financial gifts in can be extended to: forgiveness, time, patience, energy, the list could continue forever.
Giving is the foundation of growing. The more we give, the more we allow ourselves the opportunity to grow, but more importantly we set the example for others to grow as well.
4. Be present
In a world of distraction one thing that stands clear — being 100% present and in the moment is rare.
Can you recall the last time you did not have a piece of technology within 15 feet of you that notifies you of someone else, somewhere else in the world?
Social media and smart phones were designed to bring us together and make us more productive. The reality is, it’s separating us more than ever, and many times making us unproductive as we burn time mindlessly browsing.
Too many times I see a group of people out at an event, or out to dinner, trapped behind phone screens neglecting the souls and people right there in front of them. To love better we must be present.
We must lock in to the words and feelings of others without distraction. Leave your phone at home, if you need it to get somewhere, GPS it, then leave it in the car once you arrive. Turn off the notifications, tuck it away. Eliminate as many opportunities as you can to be distracted and lock into those around you.
Being present in itself is a present. We never know what the future holds, so we must get it right so that we won’t regret what will become the past.
5. Lead with love
Lastly, to love better we must lead with love. When we are upset or angry it is easy to lose our emotional center and respond with aggression and hate. However, it is not a viable solution to loving better.
Remove your expectations, take yourself out of the picture, and put yourself in the shoes of the other side. Try to communicate to them in a way you would want to be communicated to.
I am not a betting man, but I believe that the approach would be loving.
If you need to critique someone — lead with love.
If you need to discipline someone — lead with love.
What ever it is — lead with love.
When you become the leader of all interactions you have it becomes realistic to set the pace of the conversation. No matter what the other side pushes you with, attach love to your side and watch the perspective others have of you change. They will begin to trust you deeper, respect your deeper and love you deeper.
Connecting before correcting. Lead with love. Do not deny yourself the opportunity to influence by leading with anything other than love.
Love is the foundation of happiness. Loving yourself, and more important loving others.
What are your ideas to love better? Who in your life can you love better? Reach out and let us know!
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Great message, Iman. Thank you for sharing it so clearly and passionately. Love does come from a sense of personal wholeness. And you must learn to love yourself before you can learn to love others. An old lesson but no less true today than it was hundreds of years ago.
Perfection! Love this my friend!